Here’s a bunch of 6 x 9 inch black and white commissions!
Samus vs Kriken
Here’s a recent personal piece. Samus vs Kriken.
Ink and screen tone on bristol board.
14 x 17 in.
Kamen Rider Black and Kamen Rider V3 team up piece
Here’s something I was able to bust out for fun over the week. Kamen Rider Black and Kamen Rider V3 team up.
More Character Design
Here are some more character designs from the project. I went for a very simple approach to these.
Character design part 1
so I’ve been doing character design work for a client for the past couple months. I’m going to share these here! these are some villains I created for a clients project. The gist of the story is that there is a bird world that is being invaded by robotic AI controlled birds.
Monthly challenge!
Me and my buddy Aremo Masa have been doing a monthly illustration challenge. Here are a few of the pieces that we’ve been doing. These are mine.
Kamen Rider gouache paintings
Hey hey, Here’s some Kamen Rider pieces! I been doing these for fun. I made them with Gouache and ink on bristol board.
Portraits for Nose Bleed
Here are some recent pieces I created for the Nose Bleed book one roll out. I made these to use on instagram and email blast. The aim with this pieces were to invoke a feeling of dread. The characters in Nose Bleed go through some pretty intense situations and I tried to capture them all in one single image as best as I could based off of moments from the story.
Inked these by hand scanned them into my computer and then colored them in procreate.
End of a nutty week
Nutty is a strong word. nah this was a good week
Shit that got done
Nose Bleed chp 6 is toned and ready to be posted
nose Bleed chp7 inks are all done (I just gotta erase and scan the last two pages in)
I started posting to instagram and social media’s again ( catch me every Tues, thurs, and sat baby)
Learned some sentences and questions in french! I’ve been meeting with a tutor twice a week.
shit that sucked this week
I think I tore my shoulder and right lat. I decided fuck it I’m going to start moving my body more, ( I stopped working out back in April.) I did like 5 pull ups, no stretching or anything before hand, just jumped up and started ripping. (Also fuck you if you think 5 is nothing, Even at the height of my strength and conditioning I could barely rip 7 with out needing to stop and regroup.) Anyway, the first day was great and I was like cool! I’ll just start doing pull ups everyday, then day 2 hit and my right side under my shoulder felt like I got kicked in the ribs. Ive been icing and applying ligament oil like crazy. Im such a dumbass for not stretching before hand. live and learn.
I’ve been wanting to get back into shape again and I’m thinking of restarting Muay Thai. For the last five years I was crazy committed to the sport. I would train 4 to 5 days a week and I even competed a few times. My record is nothing to brag about but I was pretty good. I took a step back after my last fight which I felt I was robbed of a much deserved win, and on top of that rocking my confidence I got back to back cornea scratches which sounds like nothing but it is the most unbearable pain in the world. I would not wish that shit on my worst enemy. SIDE NOTE: if you’re ever in a street fight and you cant talk your way out of it dont aim for there chin, aim for there eyes! (god I hope I’m using the right there.)
After the second Cornea scratch that caused a pretty bad infection and almost canceled my trip to Paris, I said fuck it, I’m done with training and fighting. I never thought I would see the day where I wasn’t training. I mean it was literally my life for 5 years. Draw all day, train at night come home from the gym, draw some more then go to sleep. I never had dreams of being a champion and after much reflection I kinda hated fighting. I think to be a good fighter you have to have that dog in you, that deep seated anger and that urge to hurt people. That dog came out in my first fight hard but it freaked me out and I never could muster it up again. It’s something I think about a lot. I’m competitive as shit but I’m also equally passive. And that does not make a good fighter. I was really hard on myself and felt like a faker, I even briefly became a coach at a gym out here in Chicago, but I just didn’t feel like I deserved to be teaching people how to fight. After taking a step back from the Muay Thai grind I felt good knowing that I don’t have to be this tough guy anymore, cause I honestly was faking it the whole time, and it just really stopped being fun. I don’t miss sparring or competing but I do miss working out, sweating and being told what to do for an hour. I do think its super important to learn how to fight, I think if everyone knew how to fight we’d all be way more chill. But I also wish I loved fighting. I think about my matches from time to time and I get caught in the flash back and I’m like why didn’t I kick harder or punch through more. Why did it always take me until the 3rd round to wake up out of the weird daze of being in the ring. Being in the ring btw is the most surreal experience ever. The hardest part isn’t getting in there and fighting its the dissociation that would occur. I don’t know why but I would spend rounds 1 and half of 2 completely out of my body, I’d literally be watching myself do stuff. My body was on auto pilot while my brain and mind were like, “ why the fuck are we doing this again?
“This is fucking pointless!”
Then usually after a hard hit I would wake up and actually start fighting with control.
shit was weird as fuck. Maybe I’ll talk more about it later but for now here’s some shit I posted this week.
Back in the saddle
I had a really good portfolio review a few months back, it really made me feel great but also horrible at the same time. Basically the guy who gave me a review told me I should be aiming to make 50,00 grand a year. He was like you very easily could. I panicked at the thought. Im not one of those artist that doesn’t believe in themselves. But 50,000 grand a year was like oh shit why didn’t I see that in myself? Ive only come close to that amount one year. Every year after that has been ehhh. Especially the last two years. Ive been making stuff but trying to get more organized and really focus on doing the work but it’s always something else. Something else pops up. I don’t know how to explain it but I kinda went nuts. I was and still am in the middle of a grueling comic project that I wish would just end. Luckily the drawing part of it is over and if im asked to redraw or touch anything up im honestly tempted to just say fuck it and not respond. Which is not good. I hate that during the middle of this project I realized I hated it. It’s been some weird shit the entire time. Just a weird untrusting vibe the entire time. Something that my mother suffers from. This untrust of the world. It’s a sickness and im starting to see it grow inside of me. I have to fight it. I’ve also recently realized Ive been a spoiled brat my entire career. Ive never had to really reach out to people for work. In fact every time ive done that ive never received any work. Ive always had every good opportunity come to me. But the last two years that has stopped. Nobody is knocking for the first time and im 34. It’s kinda like when the trust fund runs dry and you’re like fuck I didn’t save anything, how do I get more back into it? How do I fix this problem? How do I be a professional illustrator? Who the fuck am I? The last few months have been a whirl wind of that. Mostly who the fuck am I? And what do I see myself doing for the rest of my life. Obviously I want to keep getting better at drawing and making comics but I need to figure out the financial side of this. I can’t be 35 wondering when the next check is coming in. I gotta smarten up and ive been trying to do just that. I think im on a good path. I gotta reach out to more people and present myself to the world better.
Day 15
Whoa its been 5 or 6 days since I wrote on here but im back. what happened to doing this everyday? what happened to ending each work day with a stream of conscience writing sesh? I don’t fucking know man. I just got tired? The last couple days or rather this whole dang week has been filled with doing work for hire comic stuff and I gotta tell ya its really getting to me. Here is where I have to tread carefully, I am always grateful to be asked to draw or contribute to anything. I have been very lucky over the course of 10/11 years to work with nothing but awesomely talented writers. The problem is I also have ideas and I use these opportunities to up my drawing and story telling game by doing stories I would never come up with on my own. The problem though Is that I have my own ideas and a giant thing inside of me that is like “dude you gotta tell your own stories!” I’ve also been lucky enough to do that but not as much as I want to over the years and the older I get the more I realize that time is running out and I need to just stop doing these work for hire gigs and realize I’m good and I can do stories that are just as good (maybe even better) than the stuff thats being thrown my way or the stuff thats out there being made. and thats not ego, its more of like, hey man these guys and gals are coming up with stories and getting them made, you can do it too so stop waiting around till you feel like your ready and just start, when you got into comics you were a writer and artist, then i started wanting to make money off of this and i heard that i should team up with writers and that totally derailed my own personal growth and figuring out the stories i wanted to tell. Last year I made the switch and started writing again and doing my own shit. It has been great but slow. what other thoughts are creeping in to my head? I really want to quit and just give back the money and move on but I CANT. because quitting is for losers. and it starts this horrible crescendo effect where you start quitting everything in life. I am not a quitter but i dont know man this project is just giving me a stomach ache.
It started as me writing and drawing a character for this company, then another guy thats apart of the company got brought in as a co writer and so we’ve been co writing this thing. theres been headaches there because i would’ve loved to use this as portfolio fodder as a writer/artist but now this fucking guy has been involved and I cant be like, “oh yeah i wrote that part and that part, but not that part.”
(also im well aware of how fucking horribly written this blog and it is in know way shape or form an example of how i write, shit maybe i should take this thing down or hide it. but fuck it as for now know one is even reading this fucking thing.)
so its been frustrating. a great page rate and the people are nice to chat with but working together is different ya know. I don’t think I am a cog. well thats not true i don’t mind being a cog as long as its like 50% my idea. I want control! I want to be the one coming up with shit and making it happen. am i nuts? is that weird? is my ego in the way?
I don’t even know. My whole career has been crazy. its taken so many twist and turns I cant believe where Im even at half the time. The one thing I do know is that I am getting better at drawing. that much is true. everything else is a fucking shit show. self induced unfortunately but not in a self pitty way. comics and illustration is one of those paths were you set your own rules and you make your own way. you just gotta keep figuring shit out and so thats what i gotta do.
as far as shit thats on my plate this week?
still need to finish painting this big ass commission,
need to finish penciling a 5 piece commission.
need to finish digitally penciling this work for hire comic.
I need to keep penciling the next couple pages my new comic Nose bleed.
I need to get tickets to heroescon and tell people im taking commissions
also need to finish another commission.
fuck
day 14
im still trying to figure out the perfect way to work. it is very challenging. somedays I don’t know what to focus on. so i just try and get something done. Im not perfect, i dont think any one of us is. but when your an artist you have to create and you have to do alot and be prolific. Being prolific is the hardest thing especially as i get older. if i want something to look good i gotta take my time. i use to just rush pieces and try not to think of the out come. a good piece is like finely tuned car or a puzzle where all the pieces land together. Im not really seeking perfection by any means just trying to hit home runs more often. I’m also learning clip studio paint. i guess i would be more inclined to really dive into this program if i were a digital artist but i just want to take the edge off of drawing comics and being able to catch distortions in my drawings. these post are a little strange i know. but I am writing these raw and at the end of the day. the plan for this week is to do two days of comic work, one day of illustration, then two more days of comics then a break, then finish with a day of illustration.
day 13
Well its been good, I am getting into the flow of things. got a lot on my plate right now which is always good. Basically I had to get back into time blocking which has helped immensely. focusing a few hours a day on a couple task. I still need to paint something and its really big and Ive been a lil chicken about starting it. I think tomorrow I will do a small painting to get into the flow of things again and remind myself how to paint. other than that today was pretty chill. I went back to muay thai, and it was going great but of course i strained my back. Whenever I take a break from muay thai and come back I always pull my right scapula. its so annoying. i know now to just start icing it and stretching. but yeah just trying to keep journaling. nothing much to really report on just working on. OH I also stopped listening to podcast or music while Im thumb nailing my next two comics. i still need to figure out a small commission as well. goddamn theres only so much time but I know I will get everything done. i always do.
day 12
C2e2 started today and i totally forgot to get passes or some kind of ticket to get in. i feel like a mixture between goof ball and whatever.
How do i describe it? on one hand i feel like i should be there and on the other I don’t see a point in going there with out having a table. last year i got a pro pass and it was a complete waste of time. All I did was go around and spend money for 3 days. It was dope to get to meet people and chat but at the end of it you feel like you need to support these people and i just wanted to chit chat and net work. ugh plus I went by myself which is never fun to do. I don’t really regret not going, Ill prolly get a sunday pass. Im sharing a table at heroes con anyway and need to prepare for that.
goddamn i got some much fucking work to do and i still need more money. this lifestyle is fucking hard some days. well actually alot of days. its something i dont want to admit but fuck its hard. its great because every day im getting better and better at this shit but my wallet is hurting. i need more jobs, i need to work faster but now i cant fuck up and make shitty work. people are paying me. my rent is due at the end of every month and i need to save for taxes. its very troubling and trying to figure out ways to navigate this thing is so hard. but holy fuck. I inked two pages today of my new comic and they look great. i slapped a lil bit of tones on top of em and they look pretty cool. now my hand hurts and ive been doing a little bit of day drinking but today fucking ruled. i just have to figure out how to letter these pages in clip paint studio which im dedicating to elarning this year instead of photoshop. i mean this program is literally meant to be used for image making. i need to take advantage of it.
god i want to get better at life. i want to get better at adulting. i hate that i can only focus on one thing at a time. i wish i was super human. anyway.
tomorrow i need to scan in urges, plus the two new pages i finished. i need to work up some drafts for the gundam commissions cause i fucked up and didn’t read the email correspondence correctly so i need to start over. i also should start painting a no rush commission. what else. i also need to start thumbnailng a work for hire comic gig that is due at the end of the month. i cant do it. jesus im starting to get overwhelmed. but i can knock it all out. i know i can.
day 11
Today was another day of blur. Don’t get me wrong it was a good day as I ended up getting page 2 penciled. I cant wait to start inking them. I feel really charged up by this project because I get to write draw and letter the whole thing and on top of that I am being paid to do so. Its pretty much a win win for me and I want to make the most out of the opportunity. I don’t care so much about it being liked. Obviously I would love for people to like and read it, but the real focus is staying on task, writing and stick to the outline i made and just getting it done and keeping it interesting. I have alot of it planned out and luckily I have the ending already written and I’ve also kept it very rashomon, meaning the story is told from multiple view points.
Man I also want to mention that this blog is a means for me to have something constant in my life so please excuse how horribly it is written. I don’t plan any of this out and I dont really want to do that. I dont care if people read it mostly just a place to keep my thoughts instead of the note books I keep. which always get tossed out cause my hand writing is horrible.
Anywho i started to erase and do the panel borders on the next urges pages. i also started to digitally pencil gundam shenlong. tomorrow i will finish the pencils to that piece and maybe go on a walk. do something where I use my body. its been a while since i worked out. I just have so much work to get done. tomorrow im also gonna watch deadzone. I started watching it this afternoon on my break. i was surprised that cronenburg directed it, that my ultimate crush Brooke adams stars in it and that Christopher Walken actually rules in it. man the 80s and 90s were totally ruled by Stephen King.
bed time for me.
Day 10
new laptop is here baby and boy is this exciting and frightening. I’m so stoked to finally have an up to date computer. for my entire professional working career ive used hand me downs or refurbished pieces of equipment. shout out to my peeps that gave me equipment but nothing feels better than purchasing something brand spanking new that hasn’t been stepped on or used or whatever.
yesterday was a pretty killer day. I finished a painting which I will post here.
this is a pin up for some local pals and there comic called Man boy
This came out way cooler than I thought it would and was also one of those instances where I didn’t have to work for it. i did a preliminary sketch and was off to the races. Sometimes the pieces just come. other times I have to sit and think and sketch and sketch and sketch. When I was younger I use to hate planning and sketching pieces out. I Hated analyzing. I hated erasing and not getting something amazing on the first try. Very amateur way of thinking and approaching art. Now though. I really let loose and sketch and sketch. Ill sketch all day if it means getting a good piece. I even think of it as fishing. The lake is my sketch book and the pen is my fishing pole and we just get out there and get it going. Anywho I also fucked around and didnt get much sleep last night. I stopped Drawing around 12 and put Mimic on. I dont know if this is a bad movie or if the melatonin I bought actually works, but I literally fell asleep immediately. I’m gonna try and re watch tonight and I lowered my dose to one gummy instead of two. BUT I will say that mimic seems pretty cool.
Pretty neat and scary right? I couldn’t find a picture of it walking around looking like a tall man with a big coat on but thats the real cool gimmick to the design. Anywho tired as fugg. gonna hit the hay. tomorrow I need to finish penciling page 2 of a thing I’m working on and get started on these dang Gundam Commissions as well.
Day 9
I still need to scan in the pages I completed last week. Ive been a mess all week. Somewhat productive but oh so messy. Lets start with the positive things: I got the next 5 commissions thumb nailed, I would’ve given myself extra credit had I colored them. I also should prolly post pictures of this stuff but that will be easier once my new computer gets here. I successfully outline my new personal comic that will be showing up once a month on the philly art blog. still haven’t signed a contract but whatever. If it some how falls though it wont be my doing. (is that how you say that?)
tonight I inked and toned a lone wolf and cub commission. Check out some footage of me doing that here. And finally I penciled and ink another commission. I still need to paint that and finish tightening up the lone wolf and cub piece as well. writing out everything that needs to be done as helped out tremendously but i seriously fucked up by not writing out what I wanted to accomplish each day this week. yeesh was that bad. so this week I will correct that by focusing on a single task a day with a bonus task attached to that. SO SO much shit to do.
Yesterday I also binged some tv after day drinking for breakfast. (that sounds way worse than it actually is or was) I came home from brunch and watched all of Mare of east town. Its one of my favorite shows on HBO and it was so good to rewatch especially knowing how it ends. I could focus on the cinematography and the writing and the set design and the colors. All top notch shit In my opinion and I do not own the vocab to describe how awesome this show is, but you’ll love it if you’ve spent a ton of time in the philly area. I spent the whole day watching an episode, then bouncing to do some work, then bouncing back to watch another and another until finally I just needed to kill the last two episodes. After that it was about 2 in the morning and I figured I was going to end up sleeping on the couch so I put on the crazies, the 2010 remake which I’ve seen a dozen times. Man this movie starts out so promising and somehow falls flat. It felt like they lost there budget half way through production and what could’ve been an awesome, escape from insanely violent towns people, gets boring as hell and ends on a whimper. I still need to watch the original. After that it was 4 in the morning and I was still up, so I said fuck it, lets see if Day of the dead is streaming and voila it was! I use to own this master piece on dvd and watch it constantly as a kid. Man was it nostalgia overload getting to revisit these characters and the world they live in. and that score. god damn. such an awesome movie filled with characters and actors that really give it there all. In my opinion it might George A romero’s best work. I didnt end up going to sleep until 730 in the morning but it was worth it. I haven’t watched that much tv in ages and I think it helped to refuel my creativity.
day 8
The days after finishing a comic are the worst. your done but the works not done. you still need to get the thing lettered and colored. scanned in. etc. WHen im done pencilng and inking i just dont want to look at the pages anymore. I dont wanna think about those pages, I just want to move on. Do some more. But I am usually just drained and tired. so the last two days have been me feeling drained and tired. Ive been working out and luckily have some pieces to work on before starting up some new comic work that is work for hire hopefully it wont be my last bit of that stuff. Tomorrow though im gonna force myself to start working on a personal comic just to stay in shape. I dont wanna lose any of the comic momentum Ive got going. the next few pieces I am working on are essentially pinups so now i need to switch to that mode. that usually involves me practicing and studying poses from cool people that do awesome cover and pin up work. onward ho!
Day 7
Finally finished urges pg 10 over the weekend. That was intense. 4 pages in 4 days. its a ten page story that I might add an extra page or just do some extra stuff to pad this first collection out. If only I could work faster. Shit its hard to knock out pages. Ive actually gotten a lot faster at it though. or maybe i just care less or know how much effort to put into a page. The stress of doing a page isn’t as heavy and brutal as it once was. I have Erick to thank for that I think. I started a personal long form comic that was supposed to be doing a page or two a week but i got caught up in it and how hard it was inventing this new world to play in. I wish it was funner but it was a spiral of anxiety after page 6. I did get to page 12 but it was a slog fest. I was also caught up on how I was gonna release this thing, compared it to other web comics, thought that the story sucked and know one would want to read this and unfortunately gave in to the bullshit negativity. I fucking hated that I let myself get in the way of my own growth. I fucking hate it but at the end of the day thats 12 more pages i got done and I learned a lot. I’ll write a more detailed thing about that whole mess. but as for now 10 more pages have been finished and ill finish some more.
Day 6
Its almost been a week of blogging. can i call it that? blogging in the year 2023 feels weird as hell. useless cause our attention spans are the size of a pea. but what does that mean? useless because eyes wont ever see this stuff? does everything I do have to be wrapped up in pursuing fame?
God what a mess. But yes everything I do seems to revolve around “making it” and the truth is Ive never even figured out what making it would look like. so lets do that now
Making it in the arts for me looks like: Having a fan base that is cool with my experimental nature. one that will follow me through whatever phase I’m going through.
Having no debts. Figuring out a way to make a shit ton of art and publish it through my own imprint or finally shacking up with a publisher that is down to sell my shit. But also figuring out a way to work that isn’t me being chained to a desk. as much as I’ve idolized that lifestyle, (mangaka) Id much rather work hard and play hard as well.
finding a mentor or mentors to check in with. Having an editor that can keep me honest and someone i set goals with and meet them and they also help me career wise. like if i do a book they can help keep me on task and then figure out a publishing method that yields money.
making enough money to support or help out significantly. My girl is a doctor so competing with her financially seems retarded but Id like to pull my own and provide if we decide to have kids, or be able to help my mom or have an established savings account.
making it means have multiple revenue streams and also multiple savings accounts. a rainy day fund. a savings account. a travel account. and an oh fuck account.
putting out a certain amount of work per month. honestly putting out a monthly book whether it be comics or a sketch book or an art book. well maybe bi monthly.
get better at social skills. keep relationships i have with friends healthy while also meeting new people and building a meaningful connection.
making it would be giving back to my community not just through art but also knowledge of navigating this insane industry.
making it would mean being more than good enough to work for dc and marvel and dark horse but also doing my own shit.
being able to write, draw and paint my own shit.
ive just dumped alot. but yeah thats what making it looks like if i had to sum it up. oh also making it means finding a work schedule for myself and being a bit more organized or being ok with how disorganized i am and just making it work.