Nutty is a strong word. nah this was a good week
Shit that got done
Nose Bleed chp 6 is toned and ready to be posted
nose Bleed chp7 inks are all done (I just gotta erase and scan the last two pages in)
I started posting to instagram and social media’s again ( catch me every Tues, thurs, and sat baby)
Learned some sentences and questions in french! I’ve been meeting with a tutor twice a week.
shit that sucked this week
I think I tore my shoulder and right lat. I decided fuck it I’m going to start moving my body more, ( I stopped working out back in April.) I did like 5 pull ups, no stretching or anything before hand, just jumped up and started ripping. (Also fuck you if you think 5 is nothing, Even at the height of my strength and conditioning I could barely rip 7 with out needing to stop and regroup.) Anyway, the first day was great and I was like cool! I’ll just start doing pull ups everyday, then day 2 hit and my right side under my shoulder felt like I got kicked in the ribs. Ive been icing and applying ligament oil like crazy. Im such a dumbass for not stretching before hand. live and learn.
I’ve been wanting to get back into shape again and I’m thinking of restarting Muay Thai. For the last five years I was crazy committed to the sport. I would train 4 to 5 days a week and I even competed a few times. My record is nothing to brag about but I was pretty good. I took a step back after my last fight which I felt I was robbed of a much deserved win, and on top of that rocking my confidence I got back to back cornea scratches which sounds like nothing but it is the most unbearable pain in the world. I would not wish that shit on my worst enemy. SIDE NOTE: if you’re ever in a street fight and you cant talk your way out of it dont aim for there chin, aim for there eyes! (god I hope I’m using the right there.)
After the second Cornea scratch that caused a pretty bad infection and almost canceled my trip to Paris, I said fuck it, I’m done with training and fighting. I never thought I would see the day where I wasn’t training. I mean it was literally my life for 5 years. Draw all day, train at night come home from the gym, draw some more then go to sleep. I never had dreams of being a champion and after much reflection I kinda hated fighting. I think to be a good fighter you have to have that dog in you, that deep seated anger and that urge to hurt people. That dog came out in my first fight hard but it freaked me out and I never could muster it up again. It’s something I think about a lot. I’m competitive as shit but I’m also equally passive. And that does not make a good fighter. I was really hard on myself and felt like a faker, I even briefly became a coach at a gym out here in Chicago, but I just didn’t feel like I deserved to be teaching people how to fight. After taking a step back from the Muay Thai grind I felt good knowing that I don’t have to be this tough guy anymore, cause I honestly was faking it the whole time, and it just really stopped being fun. I don’t miss sparring or competing but I do miss working out, sweating and being told what to do for an hour. I do think its super important to learn how to fight, I think if everyone knew how to fight we’d all be way more chill. But I also wish I loved fighting. I think about my matches from time to time and I get caught in the flash back and I’m like why didn’t I kick harder or punch through more. Why did it always take me until the 3rd round to wake up out of the weird daze of being in the ring. Being in the ring btw is the most surreal experience ever. The hardest part isn’t getting in there and fighting its the dissociation that would occur. I don’t know why but I would spend rounds 1 and half of 2 completely out of my body, I’d literally be watching myself do stuff. My body was on auto pilot while my brain and mind were like, “ why the fuck are we doing this again?
“This is fucking pointless!”
Then usually after a hard hit I would wake up and actually start fighting with control.
shit was weird as fuck. Maybe I’ll talk more about it later but for now here’s some shit I posted this week.
